Sunsets in Outerspace

I recently watched Everything, Everywhere, All At Once. The concept of the film deals with multiverses and after I saw the film, I began to imagine myself in every multiverse I could think of. I believe I only got to 50. What if I was an athlete? What if I had chosen chocolate ice cream rather than vanilla two nights ago? One of the things I could always see in my multiverses was my musical talent and the dancing skills that I don't show often. Behind every profession and infinite outcome, I envisioned my sister there with me.

I know she looks up to me, but I don’t think she realizes I look up to her as well. She often forgets her self-worth when clouded with negative emotions. She overthinks and underthinks, but other times, she surprises me and thinks just enough. She doesn't sleep enough, but when she does - my God she can conquer the world.

We are not the perfect pair of siblings. We do not reside in the ideal family. Hell, we often give each other the cold shoulder and silent treatment (if you know, you know). One of my favorite memories with her was March 2020, quarantine had started. I didn't know how bad things were about to get and neither did she. We enjoyed each other's company and blocked out the world for a few hours. We dug for some blank canvases and brought out our paints which had crust on the rim of the bottles. And we talked and sometimes we didn't have much to talk about but the sound of the brush hitting the canvas was more than enough.

It's strange to see her enter a fresh start in her life. The sister I rode the 6 AM bus with is now a person I will see on my college campus. But it's comforting to know I can give her a push and be a guiding hand for the first few months. It's like riding a bike. I can reassure her that I won't let go, but I eventually will. And you know what? She will be just fine.

Life has been difficult, it has been confusing. Nonetheless, thank you for always loving who I am and what I stand for. I tend to forget how to keep myself grounded - must be all that overthinking of yours that rubs onto me. Queen, I'd be lost without you.

Natural praisers forever. In this multiverse and in the one where I lift weights.