I'm Getting Older

I've finally accepted the fact that my childhood is over.

It's comforting knowing I lived a good one.

I laughed, cried, yelled, smiled, pouted. I ran, played, sang, danced. I loved, kissed, hugged, slept.

One of my favorite childhood memories was playing Cops & Robbers at night. The neighborhood kids would all get together, separate into two teams and run around the 5 blocks. A rush of thrill and excitement would fill my body. The "Gotcha!" would scare me to death, yet I would love to be caught because it meant we would restart the game.

My parents gave us the best life possible. Although they were not the perfect parents, God knows why, I am grateful I was chosen for them. Or they were chosen for me. My mother, with her perfect white smile. No flaws, her cheekbones were perfect-sized. Her hair smelled like shampoo, the expensive kind. Her hands were the most delicate. She took care of me, babied me when I did not feel like going to school. Every morning, she dressed me and carefully ironed the same red polo shirt I wore every day for elementary. My father was no steps behind her. He was always working and when he wasn't, he was always building up a new project. He was always thinking about the finances, buying us McDonald's when he could. He bought us light-up shoes, those with the blinding and irritating lights that lit up the main character of a superhero series or TV show. Money doesn't buy happiness, but that was his love language.

I'm getting older. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. It means I get to create these memories with the kids around my life now. My niece, my new cousin, my future children. I get to be a role model, a part of their childhood.

"But next week, I hope I'm somewhere laughin'

For anybody asking, I promise I'll be fine

I've had some trauma, did things I didn't wanna

Was too afraid to tell ya, but now, I think it's time" - Getting Older, Billie Eilish (2021)