When All Else Fails

Hello once again, it is very nice to see you all here. I don't know abut you all, but I feel like my days have been going by very quick. I wake up, blink, and it's already night. Other than the joyous feeling of finishing the semester, I have been working on music as it is the thing I talk about other than how difficult Organic Chemistry is (seriously, it is the hardest class I've taken at UT). I have a quick story to share to the public that can maybe motivate you to end this year on a high note rather than all the low notes it has provided.

Last December around this time, I had severe sleeping issues. I would stay wide awake when most people would be dreaming about their fictional lives. 1, 2, 3 AM would pass by and all I could think about was how my day was going to be affected by not getting enough sleep. It was a terrible thought, really terrifying. I would text my friends and my family, waking them up at times and just plead for their presence. It wasn't so much of being scared to being by myself in Austin, but I had a fear of not getting adequate sleep and ruining the rest of my life. It was a constant battle everyday, I hated getting ready for bed and closing my eyes. I sought medicine, books, and music that could help me sleep. It was not the best time of my life. One of those nights, I had enough and decided to cry out to God - asking what I was doing incorrectly. Was it my ignorance towards Him? The time I took off my normal life to live a "non-Christian" life? Confusing myself, I wrote many pages of these sleepless nights where life was not the best. They have my sincerest words towards God and His great abundance. Because of His glory, I began to sleep as soon as my face hit the crisp side of my pillow starting March 2020.

My relationship with God has always been something I kept to myself. I never knew how to make it more personal. I wanted people to push me towards going to church, to motivate me to reach His word. This semester, I started so encouraged in attending a church in Austin and making something out of myself. This fall was a moment in my life where nothing was truly wrong, but it felt different feeling relieved. So as every college student I know, I started worrying about money, friends, love, and fitness. I can truly say that you cannot juggle all of these 4 things I just listed without God in the center. It's impossible. I grew cold spiritually after dropping "I Can't Forgive You" at the end of October for reasons I am not sure of yet. November was supposed to be a strong month, but it felt so empty. I just longed a break, a day where no one thing was due. I stopped caring about the time I slept, but still kept going. This week as I was packing up my stuff to come back home from college, I found the letters I mentioned earlier. I did not open and read them, but it was bittersweet knowing how God helped me. I owe God so much, there is not enough time in the world to make it up. What I can say is that you can start right now, tonight, soon. When all else fails, just remember that the Lord is your companion. Stop worrying if she will text you back, if he's looking at your stories, if they are hanging out without you. Thank God for what is in front of you.

When I offer advice, I tend to look at myself first and analyze what I can share with my neighbor. I will work on starting soon; I will try my best to keep the relationship I care about the most. I cannot wait for you all to listen to what wonderful things God has provided for me even in my weakest spiritual moments. "And Then There's You" is not about what I learned in my 19-year-old journey with God, but about my first small step towards forgiveness, staying clean, and love. To whoever is in pain or in tribulations, do not cease. Your reward will come soon. Start with your first baby step, you will soon be walking like my niece now does. Remember, someone is looking out for you, waiting to catch you if you slip.

With regards,

Brayan Del Angel, A Natural Praiser